Chick-anon

"Hello, my name is Lindsay, and I have a chicken addiction."

"Hi, Lindsay."

Well, 3 isn't enough anymore.  I have a problem.  I said I wasn't going to decorate my house in chickens and I now have TWO chicken "things" in my kitchen with plans of putting up photos of them in my hallway.  Pretty soon I'll be sneaking my chickens into my office at work. 

Tomorrow is the 3rd Saturday of the month which just happens to be the day that North Haven has the Chicken Man come out and sell his chickens.  He'll also answer questions, but as of right now I think I have everything under control...except my need to hoard chickens.  At least if I make it on the TV show it will be funny because chickens are hard to catch and even harder to video/photograph.

Get ready for some new pictures!  I can't wait!!  I'm already researching "working girls" so I can name the new ladies. Old West working girls...no one needs to name a chicken "Sweet Cheeks" or "Cashmere" (I apologize if you know any respectable women by those names.)

Fowl Play

As you already know, I have to keep Doc and Jessie separate because
there's speculation that Jessie is a rooster. When we tried to combine
them the other day Doc kept picking on Jessie so poor Jessie had to be
sent back to her side of the coop. It's not fair, but what to you do??

Anyway, this morning I looked out my window and saw a little white
chicken tush upstairs. I SHOULD only see grey and red chicken tushes.
Upon closer inspection I saw that the partition was knocked over. I'm
thinking Jessie got cold and decided she was going to find a way to
get warm. Mission accomplished!

Brian and I decided to leave them be and see how things go today. I'll
be going home at lunch today to make sure there's no blood shed.

Knee Deep in Poo

Just before 6 I got a call letting me know I didn't have to go in to work.  I LOVE those calls!  With all of my free time I decided to Harvest worm castings (aka collect worm poo).  Usually it's pretty boring.

1. grab you a handful of poo.
2. shake said handful of poo to check for worms
3. remove worms
4.place poo in a bowl (my old popcorn bowl. hahaha)

Nothing is boring when you combine chickens and worms! I tried to offer them each a worm and they wouldn't take it.  I guess the fun is in the hunt.  If I had to hunt for all of my food, I'd be really thin or dead. :)

Looking through the newspaper for a treat.

Looking in the castings for a treat.

helping??

Just making sure I didn't overlook a worm

Found one! Jane's trying to get a bite.

Chicken Whisperer

Do they realize what they're standing in??

 Well, I think I'm caught up now!  Hopefully I won't get this far behind again...it's late and Polo is snoring (that's his way of saying "GO TO BED!")

COCK FIGHT!

Either Jessie's a rooster or she's going through "the change" and is not going to put up with Doc's antics.  Monday I let them out and Jessie was actually picking fights with Doc.  This is out of the ordinary.  Doc is usually the aggressor and Jessie just runs and screams.

If you look closely (and can get past the fact I have NO grass) you can see Jessie's feathers standing on end.  It was pretty cool to see.  Can you tell I'm not worried about Jessie anymore?  They're fighting and I'm trying to catch it all in a picture.  I didn't get the good part...they were in the air just seconds before this shot!

This is the equivalent to a Sumo wrestler vs a 5th grade boy.  haha.  The Sumo wrestler has the weight, but the boy still has his agility...who would win???

Equal Opportunity Chicken Kisser

I just love these chickens!  You wouldn't think of chickens as cuddly and cute, but they are!  Not in a sweet little puppy dog way...more in a you're so ugly you're cute way.

She's not amused

Just an extra picture of Jane.  She's got really neat feathers and she's actually soft.

I Found Bigfoot!

Ms. Jessie was born on or around July 4th and she's already outgrown Jane and Doc who were born at the end of April.  There's a huge difference in "meat" chickens and it's irrefragable that she's a meat chicken. (You like my 50 cent word?  I just learned it today...this will probably be the only time I ever use it...hope it's used correctly.  Spell check has marked it as wrong...I'm smarter than spellcheck! haha)

Look at the size of those toes!!

Chicken breast anyone?

I have small feet but still...

Picture perfect chicken

Parrot Head

I've already established the fact that chickens make horrible models.  Well, they make horrible parrots as well, but for some reason I continue to put them on my shoulder.

I thought it would be a good idea to put Jessie on my shoulder.  Once in place, she proceeded to peck my eye!  Not once but twice!  It toll me a second time to learn my lesson...pecks to the eye hurt!  I actually think she was trying to eat my eyelashes and missed.  oops!

Of course, I had to get a picture of the action.

 She was too small to reach my eye in this picture or she hadn't realized eyelashes were a delicacy yet.

If you turn your head sideways you'll get a better look.

Not sure who the pirate is and why she's in my backyard

Animal Communicator

One would think Mom would be the animal communicator in the family.  She's always had a way with animals..even had a successful "talk" with Polo to get him to stop chewing on stuff.  However, Brian seems to be the one communicating with the chickens.  I'm not sure what he's saying here, but Jessie's taking it all in...does she have a choice?? hehe 

This picture reminds me of some people trying to talk to Deaf people...they get right in their face AND. TALK. LIKE. THIS. SO. YOU. CAN. READ. THEIR. LIPS...it doesn't work like that. :)  And don't forget to smile and nod at the end of each sentence.

In Brian's defense, they just so darn cute!  How can you resist???

Kate...I mean Doc

The plan was never to have roosters.  They don't lay eggs and they're noisy.  I've been on the fence with what to do with Doc once we got the confirmation that he was indeed a rooster.  I think we've decided to hand him over to my brother and sister-in-law as soon as one of us can make it out to New Mexico, BUT I want to keep him until he's full grown so I can see what he looks like.  So far he's pretty amazing.

He's really not 10 feet tall...it's the camera angle.

He's got a neat looking comb (is that how you spell it...not sure...either way it's neat!)

ADA Needs an Amendment

We recently found out that miniature horses were approved by the ADA as service animals providing they satisfy height/weight requirement...and they have to be potty trained.  If I can potty train chickens I think the ADA should amend their approved service animal list.  As previously stated in my blog, chickens are better than any anti-depressant out there.  I'm going to request a patch of grass and a chicken coop in my office.  Don't worry, I won't be stingy.  I'll share my chickens with any (almost any) distraught person who comes into the office.

 

 

Do you think this would sway the powers that be??

The Sign For "Rooster"...and No He's Not Naked

Brian has been learning a little sign language.  His execution of the sign for "rooster" is phenomenal.  haha.

Ironic??

I just found it ironic that the chickens thought this was an appropriate place to sit.  Shall I turn up the heat??  JUST KIDDING!

Wanna take a little looksy inside??

Boys and Their Chicks

It won't be long before the boys are chasing chicks (more than just my chickens...if you get my drift).

Tommie and Nick came over for dinner just before school started and of course if you come over I MUST show you the chickens.  They were all for it until I released the beasts!  It took them a while to warm up to them.  I don't know that Nick ever did. 

Not so sure this is a good idea

Still NOT sure about these things.

Can you see the fear in his eyes??

He's thinking, "You're crazy if you think I'm gonna touch that thing!"

As always we had a teaching moment...what do chickens eat?  I feel children learn best through experience. Thank goodness we weren't learning what alligators eat.  I don't think they'd go for eating raw zebra.

Long Time, No Peep

It's been a VERY long time since I have updated this thing.  I've promised for some time that I would do it and just didn't get around to it.  Now that I'm ready to type, I have forgotten much of what has happened.  Here's a quick synopsis of everything that comes to mind...

• Doc (formerly known as Kate) pecked Brian's toes REALLY good and he yelled a few obscenities.  Thankfully, mom was inside.
• We tried to combine the chickens, but Doc kept picking on Jessie.  They were fine when someone was looking, but once we went inside the fight was on!  I kept going outside and finding their water bottles on their side.  It was because Jessie was trying to get away from Doc who kept attacking her.
• I'm almost certain Ms. Jessie is a Mister.  Monday she charged Doc and the feathers on her neck were standing straight out.  It looked like something from the movie Jurassic Park...remember the alien that would be sweet and then all of the sudden its face would explode as it would attack?  That's my chicken!
• So far NO EGG.  It will be a GLORIOUS day when Jane finally lays an egg.  I can't wait!!!  It will be better than Christmas (especially since we don't do the gift thing anyway).
• It's cooled off enough to where we don't have to put out frozen water bottles for the chicks.  It had gotten so hot we were putting them out a couple times a day.  Everyone says chickens are dumb, but they knew to sit next to the ice.  I'd say that's pretty smart.
• I'm getting the itch for some more chickens.  I just need to figure out what to do with the TWO roosters I have.  There are talks about sending Doc to live with my brother and sister-in-law in New Mexico.  How silly is that??  My poor mother is yet again being roped into doing something crazy...I come up with an idea and my poor mother executes it...quite well, I might add.  She's going to drive him there (NM) when she goes to visit this December.
• Doc's cOcKa-DoOdLe-DoOs aren't too terribly loud and I have yet to get a noise complaint by the city.  Keep your fingers crossed.
• Miss Jessie hasn't crowed yet, but that's not to say she won't start. When I say "she" it's just wishful thinking.
• Miss Jessie is HUGE!  She caught up with the others and surpassed them!  Go big or go home.
• Oakcliff is having a coop snoop in October.  I'm pretty eggcited about seeing how others have set up their yards.  I have a very nice coop...just don't know how to situate it in my yard.

I know there's more than this, but I can't think...too much pressure! :)

Please know that the rest of the blogs I do tonight are probably out of order.  I'm just going by the pictures in my phone.  Thank goodness I'm "one of those people" that take pictures of every move the chicks make, otherwise we would have no more updates. (You can thank me later. hehe)

Get ready to be caught up!  I apologize to those who will get an email every time I update. :)

New Chapter for an Old Chicken

Now that Kate's out of the closet we have some decisions to make.

First, what do we call "shim?"  Mom and Brian settled on Doc...as in Doc Holliday.  I like the name, but out of habit I keep calling our poor rooster Kate.  This quite possibly has caused some anger.

Kate/Doc attacks poor Miss Jessie when we let them out.  If we don't break up the fight quick enough then Kate/Doc comes up with a mouth full of feathers.  Poor Jessie just screams.  However, when the partition is between them Miss Jessie struts her stuff and acts like the big man on campus.  She's thick, but she can't fight very well.

Second, my goal in having chickens did not include owning a rooster.  If you remember, their jobs were going to be to eat bugs, compost and lay eggs.  Do I get rid of Kate/Doc because she/he can not fulfill one of her/his duties?  Suppose my parents didn't pray every night for a baby girl (which they did.  my brothers did too.  I'm an answer to a prayer.  hehe) and they wanted a little boy.  Once they realized I was female would it have been appropriate for them to get rid of me or have me for dinner?  Probably not since we live in America.

I have joined Dallas Backyard Poultry Meetup Group.  They are hard core chicken handlers and they've basically all said I may have to give him to someone to eat.  The office has said to keep him umtil I get a noise complaint.  What to do?  What to do?  Knowing me I will ignore the problem until I MUST do something.

I'll keep you posted...meanwhile if you want to see her it might be wise to hurry out.

Trouble on the Homefront

There are MANY options for the title on this one...

Am I Hearing Things?
Please Tell Me I'm Hearing Things.
Is it Possible To Castrate A Rooster?
Please Let Him Be Gay
That Explains Things
Oh Boy!
What Will the Neighbors Think?

Long story short...

Brian and I went out to "mend fence" one morning last week.  I thought the wood had gotten old on the horizontal boards and snapped.  Come to find out my handy-dandy drunk neighbor hit it.  Anyway, Brian was in the alley checking out the fence and I was in the back yard when we heard something.  I sounded a bit like a metal gate opening and closing.  Brian said, Did you hear that?"  To which I responded, "Yes."  Then it happened again and then again.  Each time it sounded more and more like a "cockadoodledoo."  In my head I was thinking that Miss Jessie sure did mature quickly.  I started watching Miss Jessie so I could see her crow.   What did I see?  Miss Jessie was eating so either Miss Jessie wasn't crowing or she's VERY talented and can multitask like a champ.  Upon closer inspection...IT WAS KATE!!!!  Kate's a dang rooster!  We had a 95% guarantee that Jane and Kate were hens.  All this time we were worried about Miss Jessie being a rooster and turns out we were worried about the wrong chicken.

Now what do we do??  This poor chicken that I have bonded with now has identity issues.  She's dang cute when she does it though. :)

One Big Happy Family...NOT!

I thought Jane was going to be "the mean one."  She gets this crazy look in her eye sometimes.  And now that she's got crazy hair it makes her look really mean!  However, I was wrong (this doesn't happen very often).  Big Nose Kate has proven to be the bully.  When she chases Jessie she's out for blood!  SHe'll pin her down and when you break them apart Kate has a mouthful of yellow fuzz.  You would think Jessie would learn to keep her distance, but she doesn't. 

We each have our own way of dealing with the bullying...

I try to keep them seprarate as much as possible until Jessie is old enough to fight back which will be sooner than later.  If Kate starts chasing then I use my trusty yard stick! (see previous blog)

Mom is going to get essential oils to squirt on them so they will be at peace with each other.  Maybe we'll get them headbands and tie dye shirts too. :)

Brian is just gonna yell at them.

see his finger!  he's really gettin after her!

Chicken Duplex

Miss Jessie escapes and I want my bathroom back so that can only mean one thing.  Jessie must go outside.  I walked with the feed store and they said it would be fine.  Since big chickens and little chickens can't get along they must be separated.  My first thought was to build a temporary coop...maybe out of a dog house or something.  Since time was of the essence, I couldn't really go looking around for a cheap/free dog house so I went to Home Depot.  Mom had her idea.  I had my idea.  Brian had his idea.  After at least 30 minutes of looking around at all the options I had an even better idea!  Why not make a partition for the coop I already own??? (brilliant, i know.)  The best part of the idea is that it was CHEEP (misspelling on purpose).  Brian wasn't too excited about the idea.  He thought it was unfair to the Kate and Jane because they would be squashed into a smaller area.  I figured making a new coop was unfair to my pocket book and all of the trees that would have to die in the process.  I WIN!

The partition took about two days to finish (just a few hours really).  I think it adds to the Beverly Hillbilly decor.  It's made out of old fence wood, chicken wire and bailing wire (the bailing wire adds a nice redneck touch).  This is not a very good picture, but I think it gives you an idea.  Miss Jessie is on the left.  Kate and Jane get the 2 story loft.

the claw-like thing is a deer antler for Jessie to use as a roost.

Jessie has only been out for two nights, but I think she is adjusting well.  I can only imagine going from a nice quiet air conditioned home to a dirty noisy hot home.  She's a little skittish still.  Hopefully that will go away.  I don't really want to eat eggs from a chicken that's on Xanax.  At night we put in a small cat carrier so she'll have some protection and during the day we take it out so she can have room to move around.


I really do feel kind of bad that Jessie was "thrown from her nest," but I needed my bathroom back. :^(

Stories From a Former Chicken Farmer

Every so often I email my Uncle Jim an update of our family "goings-ons."  Obviously I added updates on the chickens as they are part of the family now.  haha  Anyway, he sent me back a couple of memories from his childhood.  I thought they were cute and wanted to share them.  Uncle Jim just turned EIGHTY last month (and I'm worried about 30. haha).

Without further ado:

"I had enough of chickens on the farm to want any now, but they would be interesting. I'll tell you a story. When I was a young lad on the farm, we had chickens and a chicken-house...and there were fleas in that chicken-house! I had the task of daily "gathering eggs" and learned the tricks of stealing them, sometimes from under the chicken who was sitting on them. They would peck at me, but I ignored it. One Sunday night we went to the Methodist church with our farm neighbors. I went up and sat on the front pew in front to the preacher, and suddenly I got a terrific itch on the top of my foot! So, like any young kid, I pulled off my boot and proceeded to pick that flea off my foot and stopped the itching. The preacher stopped his sermon, looked down at me, and asked, "Did you get him, Jim?" Mother could have fainted she was so embarrassed. If she could have reached me she probably would have choked me! I still get laughs from that from those that remember!

Dad used to order baby chicks by the big carton, and we would go down to the local post-office and pick them up. Talk about old-fashioned....but those were the good days!"

Renovations

The time has come...either renovate my bathroom to be a permanent coop for Jessie or fix something for her to live in outside.  It's getting to be ridiculous that she gets my bathroom to herself and she doesn't even pay rent...

Today I got the bright idea to make a small temporary coop for Miss Jessie until she's big enough to be with the big girls without them being able to pick/peck on her.  So Brian drove us (Me and Mom) to Home Depot to try to figure this thing out.  I'm a little handy, but not too much.  My "trial and error" is more error than trial.  After walking through Home Depot at least twice and coming up with several ideas...some more complex than others...I had a GREAT, low cost idea.  Why not just make a divider for the coop I already have?  I'm brilliant!  I don't think Mom or Brian thought my idea was nearly as fantastic as I did, but they're going with it.  This evening I cut the pieces for the wood frame with an electric saw (using safety the OSHA would applaud) and screwed it together.  Tomorrow I attach the chicken wire and then place it in the coop.  Duct tape will play a very important role in all of this. :)  Pictures to follow!

My assistant

I guess she thought it was safer to be around the electric drill and screwdriver than be near Kate. :)

The Chickadees

This is the Girls' movie debut!!!  Please ignore the girl with the polka dotted shorts...not sure who owns those pasty white legs OR why she's in my yard. ;)

Thanks Melitha for the cute video!!

How to Discipline a Chicken

So Kate's out for blood!  Now when we let all of the girls out Kate hunts down Jessie and pecks her to death.  It's kind of sad.  Jessie screams and runs as fast as she can with Kate nipping at her heels.  And of course when you yell Kate's name she doesn't respond...typical chicken.  Chickens mind worse than cats.

Big Nose Kate stalking Miss Jessie

Poor unsuspecting chicken

How do you discipline???  With a yard stick! (I know...I know...I'll make a wonderful mother!  Go ahead and get CPS on speed dial. hehe)  It works with Larri when she needs a whoopin and I can't reach her so I figured it work on Kate too.  The goal is not to injure the chicken or inflict pain...it's to get something between the two chickens.  If it happens to sting a little that's not my fault...you shouldn't be chasing your sister/brother.

Respect the ruler!

God Didn't Want Me to Get to Work on Time

The girls were feisty AGAIN this morning.  I opened the door to the "house of vixens" and they flew out.  Then as I'm trying to wrangle them they kept running.  Chicken soup anyone????

When I went to feed Jessie she was chasing something in her coop.  Upon closer inspection I see a baby gecko!  I couldn't let her eat it so I had to fight with yet another chicken.  I won!

Now the gecko is safely outside.

Visitor

How'd the little guy get in my bathroom??  I brought in a plant from outside and they just rode on in...I say "they" because Mom already found one in my bathroom while I was gone. (She cleaned my room for me.  YAY for moms!! hehe)

Anyway, I got to work.

Damn Chicken

Your looks can only get you so far!  Last night I couldn't go to sleep so I decided to start my new blog...about the rest of the Funny Farm.  I worked on it until I got tired and then went to brush my teeth.  When I open the door to my bathroom guess what I see...A CHICKEN....OUT OF HER "COOP."  I guess she all of the sudden got standards and realized the Rubbermaid box she was staying in was not good enough for her...or maybe she got bored and flew out, but couldn't get back in. Either way she was out.  She jumped on top of her water and then right over the side.  Now I was faced with a predicament...I just put her back in her box, refilled her water, and locked her inside the part of the bathroom that's all tile.

This morning she was still in her "coop."  Mom and I are brainstorming new ideas for her.

She Strikes Again...I Mean VISITS Again...

Melissa came over again to check out the chicks plus she hadn't met Miss Jessie.  They guys grow FAST!!!  I've had Miss Jessie for about 2 weeks and she's doubled in size.  At this rate she'll be 6 feet tall by the Fall.  Jane is growing into a hen...we're going to have to go bra shopping pretty soon (if you know what I mean). :)  Kate is finally catching up with Jane. I thnk she's a couple weeks younger than what we were told.

Here's some pictures of the visit... 

Mom and Jane having a Heart-to-Heart...

Feeding the girls...

 Remember how Kate pecked Jessie??  As you can see it didn't bother her for too long.  This time Jessie bowed up to the other two...some girls just don't learn.

Chickens never get old

Realizing that chickens have sharp claws.  :^)

Helping out with the yard work...

Just hanging out.

Atlanta Chicks

While I was in Atlanta I came across a chicken or two as well.  Crazy since I was at a conference ALL week. 

In the hotel's food court

Peace from Atlanta

One might have seen a chicken on a bike tour of the city...I wouldn't know because I was at a conference.

Stranger Danger!

Tes is a therapy dog...

In chicken this translates to..."We're all gonna need therapy after this dog gets a hold of us!!"

Mom is trying to train Tes to not go out for blood every time she goes out back.  Tes is a pretty good dog, but I think this might be a big task for her.  It would be like telling me not to drink the Diet Coke that setting on my desk...NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

Mom and Tes practicing "Leave it."

She got them in her sights...

So far Tes is okay on a leash.  The other day, however, the dogs were out back and Brian tried to put ice in the coop.  Kate had a near death experience.  She flew over Brian's head.  Tes went in for the kill and Kate had to do some tactical moves to get out of harms way.  Brian would have had some explaining to do had Kate been injured...or dinner.